|
|
 |
|
|
And so we
worked, like a couple of crack whores on crack. We hit just
about every message board related to Eve, and we hit them
hard, using the newly created accounts to question our main
accounts about just why somebody should invest in our little
scam. Our two main accounts would then give beautifully
crafted answers to the deceptively easy questions asked by the
new accounts. A common reply-answer-reply scenario consisted
of something like the following:
New Account: This deal sounds very interesting, but I'd like
to know, how do you expect people with a low amount of isk to
invest in a battleship? And why should I put my hard earned
money in this deal? How can I trust you?
Me: New Account, I appreciate your interest and I will address
each of your excellent questions point by point. Firstly, this
investment pool isn't meant for people who just started
playing Eve a couple weeks ago; this is meant for hardened
players with a significant amount of cash who want to bring
their game one step further with the best battleship in the
entire Eve universe. However, don't start thinking that this
necessarily excludes new or credit-strapped players. If you
are new or low on money, and you are also a part of a
corporation, tell your CEO to check out this thread or contact
me at [Contact info]. I have personally witnessed the awesome
power of a battleship in combat; hell, that was the reason why
I started this investment deal
 .
If you ask any veteran fighter pilot or pirate, they will tell
you that a single Apocalypse is capable of taking down 4
heavily armed cruisers with ease.
Me (cont): And as for why you should put your hard earned
money into this pool, well, just think about the deal before
you right now. You can have a blueprint copy of the BEST ship
in the game for as low as 60 million credits. A normal copy of
the blueprint costs 1.125 BILLION isk on the market. To my
knowledge, there has not yet been a well-organized battleship
blueprint deal of this magnitude, and I highly doubt that
there will be another deal like this for a while. Furthermore,
and I'm sorry to say this, but we are unable to accept
investment contributions below the 60 million minimum, because
the lengthy copy time of the blueprint (6 days with maximum
skill in Science), would mean that the investors on the low
end would have to wait an inordinate amount of time to receive
their blueprints. However, as an incentive to invest more, any
entity (person or corporation) that contributes more than 120
million isk will receive a SECOND copy of the blueprint after
all the investors have received their first; this second copy
will be fully upgraded with a maximum level of production
efficiency. This means that your battleships will not only be
cheaper to build off the blueprint, but they will also build
more quickly as well!
Me(cont): To your last question, well, you can ask any of the
17 active and profitable traders in my corporation, ZZZZ Best,
to vouch for my trust. Or you can ask one of the ops in
#eve-online on irc.afraidyet.net; I'm friends with most of
them, and any of them will tell you that I am an honest and
reputable trader with an intense dislike for pirates
.
New Account: Hey, this sounds great. Here's my contact info,
maybe we can discuss this further. [Fake contact info].
By the end of the first day, we had about 20 distinct threads
averaging 15 replies long which, for many eve forums, was the
equivalent length of a strand of DNA unfurled to the sun and
back 1000 times. A pair of lesser men would have stopped there
and sat back on their laurels. But Trazir and I talked about
it, and in order to further add legitimacy to our blueprint
scam, we decided that in addition to our (promised) 150
million credit contributions, we would create a number of fake
investors with the new accounts, and have those new accounts
publicly announce their investor status. Although this would
siphon off a good deal of our potential profit, it would be
crucial social proof that we were the real deal. At that
point, we needed social proof more than OJ ever needed his
attorneys.
After hours upon hours of posting, spamming, and flat-out
bullshitting, I felt about ready to collapse on the floor in a
dishevelled heap. But the Great Magnet saw my efforts, and I
suddenly felt its pull. There, in my ICQ contacts list, was
HardHead, back from whatever unfathomable depth he had
journeyed to. I wasted no time.
Me: Hey man, it's good to see you back. Where the hell did you
go all that time?
HH: I had to cram my final computer science project in 3 days,
so for the past week, all I've been doing basically is
working. I'm glad that I can finally return to Eve.
Me: So am I. Hey, I don't really wanna press this issue again,
I know you're thinking about it, but the battleship deal..
there's been a pretty big response for it dude. I know you're
into manufacturing and all that, and I want to keep this deal
open for you for as long as possible, but I can honestly say
that I doubt there will be any available investment slots by
this time next week.
HH: Damn.. has the response really been that big? Do you think
I could meet some of the other investors?
Fuck. I hadn't planned on that one. The sweat began to drip
down my armpits past my side, and the room temperature became
extremely hot. I'd have to wing it.
Me: Yeah bro, definitely. This is a large amount of money
we're talking about.. a minimum contribution of 60 million, so
I can understand your wanting to meet the other people who
would be involved. As a matter of fact, tomorrow night at 8 PM
est we're gonna have an investor meeting in IRC to further
discuss the deal and answer any additional questions.
HH: All right, that sounds good.
Me: Okay man, I've been up for way too long, I think I'm gonna
go pass out now. Peace.
HH: See ya.
I left ICQ and raised my phone receiver with the speed of a
man on the chase. I pounded each key with the same sort of
desperate enthusiasm I recalled feeling during my short-lived
combat career.
Trazir: "Hello?"
Me: "Tomorrow night at eight we're gonna have an investor
meeting on IRC."
Trazir: "Uh... an investor meeting? I didn't think we had any
investors."
Me: "Well, we've got one now. A potential one. And if he's
gonna join up, he's gonna need to see other investors. You
know which investors I mean by 'others'. THE FAKE ONES."
Trazir: "Fuck. Okay, what should I do?"
Me: "Go post the time and location of our meeting in each of
our investment threads. We had what, 20 threads all together?"
Trazir: "Yeah, around 20. Okay, this will also give me the
chance to bump them."
Me: "I'm gonna go register the channel we'll need to use, call
it #apocinvest, and write up an outline for what will be said
during the meeting. Both us and the fakes will be opped, and
any others who drop by will be voiced. This will allow us to
at least differentiate between each other somewhat during the
confusion. I'll figure out the rest tomorrow, so go update
those threads and get a good night of sleep. Later."
Trazir: "Adios."
As I placed the receiver down, a grin slowly creeped onto my
face. I opened up Outlook in the vain hope that somebody had
sent me an email expressing interest in ZZZZ Best. The creep
on my face turned into a sprint of joy as I read the message
requesting more information about the blueprint deal. His name
was Magnulus, and he was the CEO of a mining corporation named
Alltech. My hard work had finally paid off! With all those
fake posts, this douche bag probably thought he was one
amongst a hundred others asking for a chance to be a part of
this great and wondrous business arrangement. I replied with
the IRC information and thanked him for his interest.
Tomorrow would be a long day.
>>Next |
|
| |
|
|
|